Lyrics to This Heartbreak
by Violmaster
Summary: Naruto is doing drugs and Sai is trying to repair his heart, however will betraying a secret make everything fall into place. Sasunaru Flamers begone
1. Chapter 1

Lyrics of This Heartbreak

Naruto awoke to a smell that bothered his nose. The distinct odor of sweat and sex, the odor causing memories to fill his head, thus creating a minor headache. Distracting his thoughts he pulled himself out of bed and climbed into his shower. He washed the dried liquid from his body that had spilt there from last night. Unable to distract his mind he remembered. The hands on him that he wished were someone else. Those eyes on him that looked so similar to the one he wanted so badly, with that look of want and lust that he wished so badly to be true. He had let it well up in him and consume him again last night. 'Damn this training it's killing me,' Naruto bit his tongue for letting his thoughts remember it all.

He looked over to his night stand as he exited his bathroom. He took a moment to debate the contents of the second drawer down. He decided against it for now. 'I'll need it after training today,' he thought bitterly.

He looked back to the bathroom. Looking into the mirror knowing that he would see the pain in his eyes, he saw them and forced himself to smile that stupid smile he knew that people would love. Nothing could be wrong with his appearance or else people would know that something was wrong with the inside. Feeling confident in his mask Naruto left the room, and exited his apartment.

There was a breeze that gusted through Naruto's hair as he turned the street corner and he knew he wasn't alone anymore. He looked up in his path and saw Sai. He couldn't ignore what happened last night any longer. "What do you want?" Naruto asked angrily.

"I just wanted to check in on how you were doing this morning, seeing that you are back to yourself I will just be leaving," Sai responded. In quick jump and a leap off of the roof, Sai was gone. Naruto looked angrily after him.

"Asshole you aren't supposed to come and talk to me unless I'm home that was part of the agreement," Naruto said without thinking and walked off in search for the rest of his group.

He found Sasuke and Sakura already there. He knew Kakashi would be a while more and that always bothered him but chose to ignore it like usual. Instead he chose a seat on the edge of the bridge and tried hard not to look at Sasuke. Sakura tried to talk to him but he continued ignoring her. They hadn't been given any missions for a while and that was irksome to the entire group however getting a break like this was nice. Sakura had been receiving some special training from Kakashi leaving Naruto and Sasuke to training with each other. It usually ended up in fighting each other but neither boy cared much in fact looked forward to finding a way to beat the other.

Naruto looked up as he noticed a new presence looking at him. Kakashi had shown up and he looked at each of them.

"Come on Sakura, Naruto and Sasuke you two can continue to spar again today I trust," he said and went on his way Sakura following close behind him.

Naruto raced off for the sparring grounds and tried not to look too closely into Sasuke's eyes he seemed to be able to read Naruto like a book and Naruto felt that it was because of his eyes.

Sasuke looked over at the blond that was now taking a defensive stance. He wondered what it was that had Naruto so defensive around him lately but decided it wasn't important at the time. He decided against taunting and just went straight in for an attack. Faking an out right attack he dodged left and allowed Naruto to dodge his kunai attack easily enough but sent out flames. The fire grazed Naruto's back and filled the field with fire. Naruto quickly ran up a tree and then went flying for Sasuke.

Five hours later both boys collapsed to the ground exhausted from training. Naruto smiled at Sasuke and Sasuke muttered, "Dobe, you're getting better."

"Thanks bastard," Naruto muttered but got up and continued, "Do you want to go get something to eat?"

"No, not hungry just yet, I will catch you later Naruto," he said standing himself but not before looking back at the blond. Pain seemed to flash through those eyes as he walked away making Sasuke regret his decision for a split second. Naruto just laughed and said, "Damn, you owe me ramen sometime soon then, bastard."

"Sure, Dobe," Sasuke said and walked away.

Naruto knew it was coming and needed out fast. Then pain whelling up in his chest the lump in his throat. He needed to go. He scrambled out of the training grounds through the streets and sprinted towards his apartment. He ran straight for his night stand and opened the second drawer. He saw the picture, it was one of Sasuke. Next to it he found his desire. The needle that contained his liquid of pure bliss.

**And the little glass vial goes into the gun like battery. And the zydrate gun goes somewhere against your anatomy and when the gun goes off, it sparks and you're ready for surgery. And addicted to the knife, she needs a little help with the agony.** **And a little help comes in a little glass vial in a gun pressed against her anatomy and when the gun goes off, Miss Sweet is ready for surgery.**

Naruto put the needle to the vein and felt the liquid entering his veins. He felt the numbness going all over his body. It was the need to have this numbing feeling come over him as he felt the tears fall down his scarred cheeks. He then took the knife and pulled it across his arm several times barely feeling the normally searing pain that would make him stop cutting. He heard a knock on his door and knowing who it would be allowed Kyuubi to heal his cuts. He went shoved everything into the drawer and went to the door. He opened it and saw Sai's face. He closed his eyes and the drug took to his brain again stronger again. He opened his eyes and felt a hand on his face. Sai saw that face on Naruto it said, 'make it go away.'

**You poor sweet innocent thing dry your eyes and testify. You know you live to break me. Don't deny. Sweet sacrifice. One day I'm gonna forget your name, And one sweet day, you're gonna drown in my lost pain. Fear is only in our minds, Taking over all the time. Fear is only in our minds but it's taking over all the time.****  
**

Naruto closed his eyes and let the hands touch him. Closing his eyes allowed his mind to wander to Sasuke. Somewhere outside of his sub consciousness he found himself naked and found that Sai was to. Hands continued to travel all over his body and finally became more centralized. Naruto opened his eyes as his body shuddered and gave into the man whom was not his lover.

Sai looked at Naruto passed out on his bed. He knew that Naruto did not love him but loved Sasuke, however that didn't help his heart. He loved Naruto oh how he loved the energetic blond, but that energetic blond was disappearing and his heart was breaking what he would do to see that blond happy again. Naruto had forbidden him to say anything to Sasuke but he realized that enough was enough from what it looked like Naruto had been doing drugs, whatever kind they were he really didn't want to know. Sai formulated a plan and left the apartment knowing what would happen if things continued.

**One night and one more time thanks for the memories even though they weren't so great. He tastes like you only sweeter. One night, yeah, and one more time.**

Sasuke was aware of Naruto's change of behavior he seemed to become more distant from Sasuke and even if Sasuke didn't want it, it was happening. Naruto for whatever reason didn't want to be around Sasuke as much and that really bothered him. However it would be for the best. Sasuke had found that the only person he was able to grow fonder to was Naruto and that wasn't good. How the hell was he supposed to finish his goal no his promise of reproducing his clan if he couldn't find someone to give birth.

'Uchiha's never break their word why should they start now when it comes to a stupid blond who I find attractive,' Sasuke thought bitterly as he kicked the pebble down the alley he was walking down.

Suddenly Sasuke was aware of someone following him. He turned around ready to strike, but stayed his hand when he saw Sai. He really didn't like Sai looked too much like himself and that creeped him out. Sai walked up to him and Sasuke smelt a familiar scent but couldn't place it exactly.

"Come to Naruto's tomorrow after your done training but do not let him be aware of your presence until about an hour after your training session is over," Sai had said.

"Why should I," Sasuke started but Sai was already gone. 'Stupid arrogant prick,' Sasuke thought and went to his bed.

The day repeated itself like it had for a month for Naruto, waking to clean himself and wanting the drug but refusing. He left the apartment to meet up with Sasuke and Sakura only to be left with Sasuke for training. Sasuke was acting really weird today though. He kept eyeing Naruto, well more than usual and that bothered Naruto a lot.

"What do you want bastard?" Naruto spoke finally after what must have been the ninth glance.

"What do you mean dobe?" Sasuke asked. Naruto was about to respond but kept quiet. Which bothered Sasuke more, and he remembered Sai's words last night. Maybe this was some indication as to what the stupid prick was talking about.

"Shall we?" Sasuke asked as he took out a kunai and prepared himself for the onslaught that Naruto would give him today.

Naruto's response was a charge full on all out and chakra filled. Sasuke wondered why he was going all out so soon. Sasuke flashed his eyes red and prepared for the attack. He dodged and slammed his fist into the side of Naruto's face only to get a hard kick to the chest. He felt himself slam into a tree and tried to get his breath back as Naruto charged him again.

He understood now Naruto was upset at him that's why he was going all out, well if a good fight he wants a good fight is what he's going to get,' Sasuke thought as he shot up chidori.

Sparring only lasted about two and half hours today due to the fact that they were going all out on each other the whole time and both had collapsed from exhaustion. Naruto would usually ask Sasuke to go buy him dinner but instead left without a word. This bothered Sasuke even more and he followed the blond to his apartment. He activated a jutsu that hid him in the shadows and hid himself in Naruto's apartment.

Naruto needed it. Needed it more than he had ever needed it before. The way the drug would make him numb and not angry at Sasuke anymore. He left for it immediately. He got to his apartment and went straight for it. He walked up to his nightstand and without hesitation put the drug right into his arm. As soon as he felt numb, he kept muttering Sasuke's name.

**Clowns that only let you know where you let your senses go clowns all around you it's a cross I need to bear all this black and cruel despair this is an emergency don't you hide your eyes from me open them and see me now can you see me now? Can you see me now?**

After seeing the drugs go through Naruto Sasuke was extremely upset. He felt his jutsu drop and then he heard Naruto muttering his name. There was no way Naruto could have known he was there because he was to his back so why was he muttering his name and crying.

He walked over to Naruto and put a hand on his back and felt Naruto turn to face him.

"Sai, why do you look like Sasuke?" was the question that came from Naruto.

"I am Sasuke," he said in a quiet voice.

"You can't be cause Sasuke won't make this pain go away," Naruto's voice answered it was slow and lower than usual.

"What pain is that Naruto?" Sasuke asked irritable.

There was a knock on the door and Naruto just left to go answer it. Sasuke looked in the drawer where he saw Naruto put his needle. What he saw made his stomach churn uncomfortably and his heart grow cold. There in the drawer was a bloody kunai that looked like it had been stained red from blood and it could have only been Naruto's.

He ran to find Naruto only to find Sai in the doorway with Naruto looking desperately between the two.

"No! You can't be here, you can't know!" Naruto yelled at him. Sasuke confused turned to Sai for an answer he seemed to know everything already.

"Naruto tell him, tell him everything please," Sai said looking desperately at Naruto.

Naruto fell to the floor crying again. Begging Sai to make it go away. Sasuke was getting pissed and wanted answers.

Sai turned to Sasuke and started giving them. "Every night for a month I have been coming here and finding Naruto like this he told me that I needed to make it go away, the only real explanation I got from him but it didn't take much to figure out. He wanted me to make him forget his pain. The only one I could look like enough to have inflicted the pain on him was you. What he wanted from me was sex. He wanted me to take his pain away by having sex with him. Do you know what that means Sasuke?" Sai said.

**30 minutes, a blink of an eye 30 minutes, to alter our lives 30 minutes, to make up my mind 30 minutes, to finally decide 30 minutes, to whisper your name 30 minutes, to shoulder the blame 30 minutes, of bliss, thirty lies 30 minutes, to finally decide**

"What does it mean?" Sasuke asked.

"That you have done something that makes him resort to whatever it is he does to try and take away the pain in his heart to make him come to me, are you so blind that you really don't know?" Sai seethed.

"No," Sasuke said but he knew the answer and whether he wanted it or not didn't seem to matter at the moment. He wanted to run but couldn't. Seeing the one and only person that he seemed to have affections for was laying on the floor looking as if he was wishing to die.

"Then you really don't deserve him," Sai said, "Unfortunately you are the only one that he wants so you better do something to fix this." With that said Sai left.

Naruto turned and cursed at the door, then returned to the floor only sitting against his kitchen counter looking at anything but Sasuke.

**When I look into your eyes there's nothing there to see nothing but my own mistakes staring back at me. I fly to you this is the last smile that I'll get for the sake of being with you. This is the last smile that I'll fake.**

"Is it true Naruto what Sai said?" Sasuke asked.

"Yes," Naruto said in barely more than a whisper closing his eyes and trying to let the drugs take over.

"Naruto look at me," Sasuke said in a dangerous tone.

"What?" Naruto asked his eyes totally void of anything and that pained Sasuke to no end.

"Why, why drugs, why cutting, why him, why?" Sasuke asked falling to his knees at Naruto's feet.

"Drugs, because feeling nothing is easier than feeling at all, cutting because pain in my arms takes away from the pain in my heart, him, he actually wants me Sasuke why would I say no to someone who wants me so badly that they would put up with me when I can moan someone else's name in the most intimate of times?" Naruto explained with a question.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Sasuke asked.

"Because you're you if I told you, you would laugh and reject me not like I still haven't tried to get you to talk to me to get you to notice me. You are happy to point a kunai at me but deny every time I ask for something else, how do you think that makes me feel Sasuke?" Naruto asked bitterly.

Sasuke knew how that would feel, but he didn't say it. Instead he took Naruto into his arms and let Naruto cry into his shoulder.

"Naruto fix yourself, I love you but you have to fix this. You can't let yourself fall to drugs the Naruto I know and LOVE would not let drugs get in his way," Sasuke said.

Naruto looked up to him with a sorrow look.

**The roads were wet and slick but her thoughts were steady Dashing through the snow in a 92 Chevy I came home welcomed back by the lights Left my heart to accompany her nights We were warming up as the air got colder Held her close, told her I adore her I came home welcomed back by the lights Took her heart to accompany my nights.**

"So you love me?" he asked looking directly into the deep pools of darkness that could have swallowed him whole.

"Yes Naruto though I have denied myself the acknowledgement for how could I fulfill my promise to produce an heir?" Sasuke said.

"So you love me but you can't be with me?" Naruto asked trying to clarify.

"I love you and I will love you, I guess I am just going to have to break a promise," Sasuke replied looking at him with some grief to his words but looked happy at the same time.

"What if you adopted that is still technically an heir," Naruto said.

"That is very true Naruto, thank you," Sasuke said smiling brightly to Naruto.

"For what?" Naruto asked completely confused.

"For a loop hole," Sasuke said and kissed Naruto's lips.


	2. Chapter 2

Sai was walking down the street alone like usual and he thought that things were better the way they were. It had been two months since Sasuke saved Naruto and Naruto had completely given up heroine. He and Sasuke had made the announcement that they were going to be moving in together and were now on the hunt for apartments.

Sai felt a smile crawl on his face when he saw Naruto smiling and happy with Sakura. He must be talking to her about the move in. Naruto had apologized to Sai a shortly after the whole thing and it hurt for a little while but Sai was content with how things turned out. Naruto was smiling and that was all that mattered to him.

He heard a voice from behind him, "It's good to see you smiling again Sai-san."

He turned and faced Neji Hyuuga. "Thanks, how have you been Neji-san?"

"Just fine," Neji said looking Sai up and down. "Would you mind taking some time from your busy schedule to have dinner with me tonight?"

"I would be happy to," Sai said and smiled brighter, it might not be Naruto but someone might be able to make him happy and why should Sai be alone forever?

"I'll be by to see you at seven then?" Neji asked.

"Sure," Sai said and went on his way.

Neji smiled then he had been deeply concerned with the artist ever since he had seemed to stop smiling and since team reassignments it was hard to not notice how his team mate never smiled and that bothered him. Only after Naruto and Sasuke got together did he seem to start to smile then and Neji wanted Sai to smile more often and thought it deeply attractive when he saw the artist smiling.


End file.
